Chapter 10 - Changes

"What's wrong Ne.…? Oh, wow!" Tara gasped when she saw Renesmee.
The smell of blood hit them like a wall as they entered. All of them stood in the doorway staring at Renesmee who had some very obvious physical changes in her appearance since the last time they all saw her
She stood beside her bed trembling, staring at her sheets that were stained in red. "I - I'm bleeding!"
Seth gasped when he saw the blood. Immediately fearing for her safety, he leaped in front of her putting himself between her and the four vampires, worried that they might become ravenous from the smell.
"Uh, what are you doing?" Tara questioned his behavior as though it was odd.
"There's blood!" he said in a panicky tone.
The vampires all snickered.
"Don't worry about it, Seth, it's not the right kind of blood," Esme said as she stepped toward them. She put her hand on his shoulder calmly to show him she wasn't going to hurt anyone.
"Huh?" He looked confused and wondered if Renesmee's blood was unlike a human's blood but that wasn't the case at hand.
Esme walked past Seth and put her arm around Renesmee to calm her. "It's okay, sweetie. I think you're just menstruating. Your body's just changing again," she said to her with a smile.
Renesmee gasped with excitement and her eyes lit up.
"What?" Seth was taken by surprise. He didn't expect that one.
"Carlisle and I weren't sure if this was even possible or when it would happen but he'll be really surprised to hear it's happened this quickly," Esme continued. She couldn't wait to call him at work and tell him the news. "Apparently you've had another growth spurt," she finished.
"I'll say! Wow, Ness, you sure look um….different!" Tara said as she stared at Renesmee's body.
Renesmee looked down at her chest. "Oh my gosh!" She ran to the mirror and looked at her new curvier figure in the reflection. "Holy cow! A lot has changed!" she squealed.
Rosalie became ecstatic. She knew this meant that Renesmee could bear children. She ran over to her and hugged her blissfully. Alice already began planning a shopping trip for her.
When Jasper and Emmett heard the commotion they came and stood in the doorway with curiosity. Once they realized what had happened they both groaned, having no interest in such a feminine matter.
Still concerned about the blood issue however, Seth wanted to make sure Renesmee would be safe. "Wait...you mean this isn't a problem? This doesn't affect you?"
"'Course not. silly…it's dead blood. It's not even appealing," Tara said, scrunching her nose.
Emmett rolled his eyes "Yeah, dude, not in the least!"
Seth let out an enormous sigh of relief. "Oh, well, good cuz I'm so outta this conversation then!"
Esme chuckled, patting his shoulder. "Go eat your breakfast. The girls can handle this one."
Seth patted Renesmee on the arm. "Uh, yeah, way to go Ness, or congrats, or, uh...something…" He tried to politely keep his eyes on her face as she had clearly outgrown the pajamas she had on. "Can't wait to see the look on Jake's face when he comes over," he chuckled as he started to leave the room.
Emmett also searched for an excuse to leave. He quickly looked at his watch. "Uh yeah, I think there's a Knicks game on, you wanna go watch that with me, Jasper?" he hinted.
"Definitely!" Jasper agreed even though he hated the Knicks. He just wanted to get out of the room.
Tara's eyes fixed on Seth as he walked through the door looking at her to see if she was staying or not. "Um, if you guys don't mind I'm gonna go with Seth," Tara excused herself.
Rosalie turned her head and gave her a sour look.
Tara truly felt happy for Renesmee but she wasn't the slightest bit interested in the subject of her menstrual cycle. It was one of those bothersome human experiences she no longer missed, like bath room trips or illness. However it also reminded her she would never have the experience of bearing a child. She completely desired to leave the room before they began a conversation about bra shopping.
A short while later, when Jacob finally showed up, Esme greeted him at the door. "Good morning, Jacob," she said cheerfully.
"Hi, Esme. Ness roll outta bed yet? I thought we'd hit the beach again while this weather holds out on us."
"Mmm, Jacob, I don't think Ness will be able to go to the beach today, something's happened." She put her hand on his shoulder.
"What's wrong? Is she sick?"
She detected the panic in his tone. "No, no. She's fine but I think I'll let her tell you. You might wanna go see her. She's upstairs," she said trying to calm him.
Jacob was worried now. He ran up the stairs, skipping steps as he climbed to the top. He ran to her room and looked in. "Ness?" He called out.
"Jacob?" Her voice called back to him, but not from her room. It came from down the hall.
He started to pass the bathroom door which was closed, when he heard her voice call to him again. "I'm in here."
He knocked. "Are you decent? Can I come in? What's wrong?" he said in a panicky tone.
Renesmee swung open the door. Alice and Rosalie stood in the bathroom with her, helping her fit into some new clothing. They had to grab some of Rosalie's clothes since all of the other girl's things were too small for her.
Jacob noticed the changes immediately. She clearly lost all childlike features in her appearance especially with the help of Alice who was already fitting her in new outfits that displayed her new figure all too well. Jacob gasped when he saw her. His eyes widened. "Uhhhh.." was all he could say at first glance.
"Jake!" Renesmee cried excitedly. She was dying to see him. She was thrilled about her new changes, hoping Jacob would feel the same. She threw herself at him wrapping her arms around him in an embrace.
Jacob suddenly felt every curvy addition to her new body and he suddenly became edgy. "Ness! W-what happened?"
"Ness went through some changes last night," Alice explained.
"Yeah, I can see that!" "And feel it, too," he thought.
Renesmee stood even taller now. Her head came to his chin which was several inches higher than she stood the day before. She still had her arms around Jacob. He tried to figure out where to place his hands on her. Renesmee stared at Jacob's face waiting for a response. As he stared back completely speechless, he became flooded with emotions and attractions that he hadn't felt before and it made him very nervous. The change was a little too fast for him to absorb so quickly. His heart beat faster and he began to sweat. He became lost in her gaze she held him tightly in her arms staring, waiting for a reaction from him. Unable to wait any longer, she leaned in slowly towards his face and pressed her lips to his.
She had patiently waited for this moment to occur; when she would move into her adolescent stages of life and start to catch up to Jacob.
At first Jacob closed his eyes and let her kiss him but within seconds he felt a surge of desire and he panicked, forcing her back.
"Jacob, why are you pushing me away?" she pouted.
"I- I'm not. You just caught me off guard. What's happened to you?"
"Ah, I think puberty happened," Alice informed him. "Can't you see?" She waved her hands up and down in Renesmee's direction pointing out her body to him.
"Yeah, I do see. I think I'm just in shock. You mean all this all happened in one night?"
"Apparently. I had a growth spurt." She smiled.
"Uh, that's putting it mildly. Is there anything else?"
"Um…yes." Renesmee was hesitant to tell him.
He put his hand on her cheek. "What? Tell me." He was almost afraid of knowing.
"I got my period."
"You what?" he gasped.
Renesmee looked over to Alice for some guidance.
"She's menstruating, Jacob. You do know what that is right, or do I need to explain that to you, too?" Alice questioned with intended sarcasm.
"Yes, I know what that is." He didn't even look at Alice. He just continued to stare at Renesmee. He looked her in the eyes and then reached out and touched her face trying to make it all feel real to him.
"Wow," was all he could say at the moment.
Renesmee's grin grew wider. She hoped he was as happy about it as she was.
"So is that all then? Do you feel okay, sweetie?" he asked her lovingly while caressing her cheek.
She nodded. "I'm fine. I'm better than fine! Jacob…do you know what this means?"
He just at her stared blankly and then shook his head.
"Jake! It means we could have kids, if we want to… that is…if you want to."
Renesmee was very sure she wanted to have children but she wasn't quite so sure about Jacob's feelings on the matter.
He hadn't thought about the subject too extensively. He never wanted to get his hopes up. Not to mention he wasn't even allowed to think about intimacy with her yet let alone family planning.
"Jacob…don't just stand there, say something to me!" Renesmee started to get misty-eyed, worrying that he wasn't pleased by about the news.
"Aw, come here," he said as he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into him. He embraced her tightly and buried his face in her long brown curls.
"I'm happy, I truly am," he whispered. "I just didn't expect all this so suddenly. I thought it would be a more gradual change for you."
"You're really happy?"
"Yes, I promise." He assured her.
She squeezed him tighter. "Love you, Jacob Black."
"Love you too, Ness." He stroked her long hair and they held each other for a long while. As they embraced, they didn't even noticed Alice and Rosalie had stealthily slipped out to give them privacy.


In the kitchen, Tara offered to help clean up so Esme could spend time with Renesmee. As Seth finished his breakfast, he noticed a change in Tara's mood and that she had suddenly become very quiet. "It's going to be nice out today. Do you wanna go to the beach?" he offered, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.
"Sure, that'd be great. Maybe I could find away to finish you off and all your friends could watch." Her tone was sour.
Seth's fork clanged as it fell to the plate. "Where did that come from?"
"That…came from my rational side," she snapped.
"Your rational side? Okay, well, I don't like it," he snapped back. "Tell your rational side to go take a hike so I can talk to whatever side of you that was on a date with me last night."
"Oh... you mean the one that nearly killed you?"
Seth sighed. "So what now? Are we back to this 'I'm no good for you' stuff again? I had a great time with you last night despite the little mishap."
"Little mishap? Is that all you see it as?"
"Tara, I can deal with the obstacles in the road as we come to them but not if you're gonna gut yourself every time something goes wrong. Every couple has problems. No relationship is perfect, you know."
"Normal couples have normal problems. This isn't about something trivial like who's gonna take out the trash. Most boyfriends don't have to worry about their girlfriends killing them."
"Wow, I guess that confirms that you really haven't been in a relationship before!"
His sarcasm didn't amuse her. She crushed the dish in her hand and the pieces crumbled to the floor.
"Look Tara, we're not normal so we're not gonna have normal problems. I expect that."
"I know, you admitted that to me last night," she grumbled.
"Okay, so what's the problem then?"
She put her hands on the counter and leaned in towards him. "The problem is you are too accepting of all this. What's wrong with you, Seth? Why are you so damn nice? Did the imprinting take away all common sense from you?"
"Are you serious? Are you really complaining that I'm too good to you?"
"Yes! I break your ribs and you don't even care! I nearly killed you in the woods and you would have let me had Jacob not been there to stop it. It's not right. Why doesn't this even faze you? You don't even get mad."
"How can I get mad at you? It's not like you did this stuff on purpose."
"Well if I did, I don't think you would even do anything about it either. I don't want to take you out of your element. It's your nature to defend and protect and if I attack you, even by accident, you should respond accordingly to that. That's what you're made to do. I can't live with the fact that if I tried to hurt you, you wouldn't even protect yourself or the ones you love. You're sister and the others were right, they were smart to be worried about you."
"You wanted to be trusted and I trust you. You're out of your element here, too you know. It's your nature to hunt humans but you choose not to. I'm not worried that you will hurt anyone and I'm not worried about you hurting me, not intentionally anyway."
"Oh, so if I kill you by mistake that makes it perfectly okay?" Her tone was pure bitterness.
"I didn't say that. I'm just saying…" She didn’t let him finish.
"What? That you believe I won't? That's not enough. If ever my natural instincts ever took control of me I would become dangerous and you'd allow it. I can't have that, it's just wrong. What if I couldn't stop myself last night? What if the guilt didn't set in and I took over and did even more damage? Would you have stopped me?"
He said nothing.
Suddenly she slipped right in front of him, staring him in the eyes. He felt her cold breath on his lips as she spoke. "I could kill you right now. You're weak as a human, but if you phased you'd at least have a chance."
"I won't hurt you and I know you won't kill me."
She frowned. "Then you're just a stupid creature." She backed away from him. Her face was hard and cold.
That cut Seth to the bone. He scowled then stood up shoving the chair across the room and stormed out of the house to head towards his bike. The door slammed shut behind him, alarming everyone in the house.
It was not the reaction she'd hoped for.
Before Seth could get on his motorcycle however, something grabbed him from behind and he was thrown across the yard. He lifted his head up in a daze, looking to see what it was that hit him.
Tara was drilling towards him. "Tara! W-what are you doing?" he shouted.
"Killing you!" she said as she grabbed him again.
"What? Stop this, it's not funny!"
"I'm not joking," she snarled viciously. She picked him up and grasped his arm tightly and he screamed painfully.
"Do something then!" she challenged.
"What? What do you want me to do?"
"Protect yourself! I won't stop until you do!"
"Let go! I don't want to fight you! I know you're not going to kill me."
"Do you? You don't know anything then! I could have killed you last night, remember?"
"It was just an accident!" He shouted.
She growled louder and leaped at him landing on top of him. Her eyes were black as coal and she barred her teeth at him. She hit him in the face trying to provoke him. He coughed and gasped begging her to stop.
"You better stop me before I lose control Seth, because I think I'm starting to enjoy this. This is what vampires do, remember? You need to see the real me."
"This is not the real you. Get off me! Why are you doing this?"
The commotion drew the attention of the entire household. Even Edward and Bella who lived near-by heard the commotion and Edward was able to tune in to their thoughts as he got closer. As soon as Jacob came out of the house, he phased and got ready to pounce. Edward rushed at him at lightning speed and grabbed him quickly. "Wait," he said to him
"She's lost her mind! She's gonna kill him!" Jacob warned him.
"Trust me," Edward said.
The vampires were all on edge, ready to intervene.
Tara sat on top of Seth. "So, you'd let me kill you?"
"No!" he gasped.
"Then fight me off! Do your job!"
"NO! Get off me Tara! Stop this now!"
She growled and clawed at Seth's chest tearing open the skin. It made him growl. Part of it was from the pain but the other half was the anger swelling up inside him. He didn't like this side of Tara one bit.
Suddenly she smelled the fear and the adrenaline and she liked it. It started to put her into a frenzy. They were the two elements that boosted a vampire's desire to hunt and kill. She was getting close to wanting to bite him now as the excitement stirred in her. Edward listened intently to her thoughts knowing to intervene the second she lost control if it were to happen.
She grabbed him by the throat with one hand pinning him and then tore his shirt with the other. She snarled at him with her razor sharp teeth. Seth struggled uselessly beneath her. She dug her claws into his neck. He screamed again.
A low rumble came from his chest and then suddenly, it happened. Seth violently threw her across the yard as his entire body morphed into a great wolf. He leaped up and crashed into her with a mighty force, pinning her to the ground with all fours. He snapped and snarled at her. Then he let out an enormous roar that froze her like a statue. His pointy sharp fangs were only inches from her face.
Tara's eyes widened as she lay there completely still and submissive. She finally got the response she hoped for, wanting to know if Seth would defend himself and stop her if she ever lost control.
Seth nearly lost control himself however. He become so enraged, he nearly bit into her neck and tore it out. He stopped himself before it went that far. He panted heavily, staring at her pitch black eyes. Then he suddenly realized what he'd done and backed off.
She sat up and looked at him calmly. "And there it is… the monster I was looking for," she said.
Seth instantly paused. He calmed down realizing what he'd just done. He looked at the others and then back at Tara. Then he moaned sadly and ran off into the forest. Tara hung her head and sighed as she watched him leave.
"Why did she do that?" Renesmee asked.
"It was something that had to be done," Edward said as he let go of Jacob. He listened to Tara who was wondering if she would be forgiven.
"I don't understand. One of them could have been killed," she said.
"She thought it was better to give it a chance this way than to find out later the hard way," Edward explained.
Renesmee just shook her head.
Jacob broke free from Edward and started to run after Seth. "Let him go, Jacob. Give him some time to cool off!" Edward shouted to him.
Jacob stopped and turned back to look at Edward. "No, he's my friend and he needs me right now. Take care of Ness for me until I get back." And he was gone.
Edward, who was too caught up in the moment to even notice at first, caught a glimpse of his daughter in the corner of his eye. He very slowly turned his head to get a full look at her noticing the changes immediately. Bella already had her arms around her with an enormous smile on her face.
"Hi Dad! Guess what?" she squealed with a grin.
Edward's eyes grew as large as saucers. She didn't even need her to say another word. He just brought his hand up to his face and he groaned.
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Several hours had passed and the sun started to set behind the horizon.
Tara sat at the window, silently staring out. She hadn't moved from the spot in hours. She hated what she did, but she knew she was better off living with the guilt of hurting Seth this way instead of the guilt from doing something much worse later on.
Then Tara heard the familiar sound of a bike humming up the road. She zipped to the door and when she opened it she saw him pulling in to the yard. He sat very still with the engine still running and a blank stare on his face. Through the visor, she saw his dark and bleak expression. His eyes shifted to hers and he nodded his head in a way that signaled her to get on. She zipped out and hopped on the bike and he drove off.
Seth took her to a deserted cliff top. As soon as he parked, she hopped off the bike.
He sat there, not moving or even looking at her and still with the same dark expression. The echoing sound of the waves crashed below. Each waited for the other to say something.
Finally Tara sighed and started to speak. "Seth…" His eyes looked in her direction, seeing the anguish in her face. He removed his helmet and listened. "Look... I'm really sorry for..."
Before she finished, he leaped off the bike and pressed his lips to hers for a long kiss. His fingers knotted in her hair and he let his helmet fall to the ground so he could pull her in tight. This time she remembered to be careful, holding him gently as her arms slid around his waist. When they slowly parted, he didn't let go of her. He pressed his forehead against hers, loosening his fingers in her hair and pressing his warm hand against the back of her neck.
She exhaled deeply. "I didn't finish my apology," she whispered.
He pulled his head back and looked into her eyes. "Okay… go ahead." His eyes looked warmer now.
"I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"
"I'm thinking about it." His eyes looked away.
"Well….does the kissing help?"
He shrugged. "A little," he admitted.
When she leaned in to kiss him again, he stopped her, putting a finger to her lips."Tara…" His eyes smoldered again. "I wanted to kill you today."
"That's good."
"Good?” He let go of her. “How's that good?"
"Because I know at least if anything did ever go wrong between us, you'd do the right thing."
He sighed. "I hated myself for feeling that way."
"You told me it tormented you knowing that you could never go through with carrying out your duties, because you said you could never hurt me. Now you're sad that you know you could? You can't win, Seth."
He nodded. "I know."
"So… what now?" She shrugged.
He stood there, silently thinking.
"Can you take it back?" she asked.
"Take what back?"
"The imprint on me - then you'll be free."
"No, it doesn't work that way. I can't control it. And even if I could…I wouldn't. I don't want to be set free."
"Oh right, because it's much better to trapped in a relationship with someone who's turned your life upside down."
"I don't see it that way."
She sighed. "No, of course you wouldn't because that would make sense."
"Is that what you want? Do you want me to set you free?" Just the thought of it pained him.
"Of course not, silly. Why would I desire to give up someone like you? You're the pinnacle of everything good. You're sweet and caring and selfless. You just had the misfortune of imprinting on a vampire but that's not your fault. Me however…I'm a selfish being as I've said. I surely don't want to give you up and go back to my miserable lonely life but…if I know it would improve yours….then I would do it, because it's the right thing to do."
He touched her face gliding the back of his fingers down her cheek. "And that’s one of the reasons why…" His eyes stared at her with a deep affection. "I'm so in love with you."
She smirked shaking her head. "You really are a stupid creature…but I love you too."
He chuckled. Longing to hear her say those words, he embraced her close, wrapping his arms around her back. He touched his warm lips against her ear and whispered. "And I forgive you."
She smiled and laid her head against his chest. "So I guess we're just doomed to be together?"
He sighed. "Mmm, I guess so." He held her tighter.
"I'm very glad you stopped me today. I was starting to think you really wouldn't."
He lifted his head to look at her. "You know, that was completely reckless thing to do to try to figure that all out."
"Yeah well, I'm vampire. It's what we do. We're a reckless race."
"Yeah, so I've noticed." He smiled and then leaned down to kiss her lips that eagerly waited for them.